Day 15

I woke up this morning really excited because I felt my top lip touching the bottom lip, just barely! But then when I actually got up and moving I realized it was because I had been laying down. They aren't touching anymore, poo! I am not sure if I am imagining it because I look at my upper lip so much, or if it really is going down, oh so slooooooowly. My upper lip is nearly all that is standing between me and having my normal life back.

One of the biggest frustrations right now is just not feeling like myself. The swelling and stiffness of my skin and puffy upper lip don't allow me to make my normal facial expressions, and I think facial expressions are so much of who a person is. I am a really animated person, and LOVE laughing so so much, and when I do laugh, my face doesn't move the same way it used to. I realize this is only temporary, it's clearly going to go back to normal, it just takes time. But I miss having laugh lines! I also seriously miss the ability to kiss my boyfriend. This swollen upper lip is certainly not too charming, nor can I even make a kiss face that doesn't look completely ridiculous.

My energy level continues to get better every day. Last night my boyfriend and I went to see a movie, and it was really great to get out and start acting a bit more normal. Today I have to head out to my university to pick up some books. I enrolled in an online class to finish my last general ed requirements in order to leave myself only 2 classes in the fall, and the class started on my surgery date. I had no idea recovery was going to be so insane, and I thought I would be able to keep up with the class, but I was barely able to even focus my eyes on a TV show, and reading complex late 19th and early 20th literature was not going to happen. I spoke with my prof who is giving me a little leeway, but I seriously need to get on it now that I am able to concentrate and not feel so crummy all the time. I am starting to realize that this is my last summer as a college kid, and I have just wasted all of these days recovering, so I am ready to get out and DO stuff everyday now!

I feel like little by little, I am gaining feeling back in the areas that were numb. The whole outer edge of my face has complete feeling. The tip of my chin has feeling, but the front of my chin still feels like a rock, it's completely numb. My cheeks have areas that are numb and other areas that aren't. The bottom part of my cheeks on the sides of my lips are not numb. On the side of my nose/under the bone below my eye is pretty numb on the right side, but only sort of numb on the left. The right side of my upper and lower lip is more numb than the left, but I can still feel it when I touch it, it just feels like tingles. My whole nose has feeling, except for my septum, weird. I previously mentioned having a throbbing, tingling feeling a lot, which the nerves were regenerating, but this feeling seems to be fading a bit.

One thing I have been concerned about is I feel like my teeth on the left side touch more than they do on the right, but every appointment I have had with Dr M he has said everything is perfect. I find myself constantly biting down to test it, but I think the constant clanking of my teeth by doing that is causing them to be a bit more sore. I think I am probably just being a bit anal about it and thinking too about it too much.