Day 20

Today we are having my nephews 1st birthday party at my parents house, with tons of family and friends coming over. I know it's going to be a bit difficult for me, because there are so many people who have yet to see me post-op. I am making progress at being OK around people I don't know with my new post-op look, but being around people I DO know is still something I am not feeling prepared for.

My boyfriend and I tried to get some ice-cream at the shop I mentioned the other day. We parked the car, started walking towards the shop, and then I spotted 5 girls I went to high school with and was friends with, and I immediately bailed. I made my boyfriend hustle back to the car with me, and we picked up ice cream somewhere else. Holy, stressful. I think seeing people you haven't connected with in a while is even harder than seeing other family and friends!

I have to show off a few pictures, because this little man has grown to be the love of my life and I still cannot believe he is turning 1.

Isn't he just precious?

I broke some post-op surgery rules last night, but I think I am in the clear. The OTHER love of my life, my dog Meeko, is having a lot of issues with arthritis and his breathing. He fell off the couch yesterday, and now is walking with a major hunch back. He doesn't seem to be able to straighten out his spine. Anyway, I was sobbing and sobbing and then came the runny nose and I couldn't take it so I blew my nose. I think Dr M said not until 4 weeks post-op, but I didn't care and did it anyway. I seem to be okay, hopefully no damage is done! Anyway, if I could ask all of you a huge favor, to send good thoughts my way for Meeko to get better, I would appreciate it so much. He is 15 and he has been my everything since I was 7, so I need him to be okay. Thanks!

I am so thankful for all of your comments in response to me questioning the new look. When I have been looking through other blogs, many people would question their looks post-op, and I would be thinking they were NUTS because they looked SO much better than they did before! I am hoping this is case with me, that it will just take time to get used to the new look. It is so helpful to hear all of you think the outcome is positive. I know that I was unhappy with a lot of things cosmetically before, and these things were fixed, so I am sure in the long run I WILL be happy. At this point, I think it's just hard knowing what I will look like in the long run. When I look in the mirror now, I am so distracted by my super shiny acne filled skin, puffy cheeks and swollen upper lip, that it's hard to see beyond these things. The shiny chin draws my attention there, and then I feel like I have a massive, manly jaw!

I can't wait till the point where I can type a post saying 'jaw surgery isn't on my mind 24/7 anymore'. That'll be the day!