My life really does feel entirely different than it did 9 weeks ago. I am still thinking about surgery all the time, but it's more 'I LOVE the way my bite looks' kind of thoughts, rather than being consumed daily about how things were going to turn out after surgery.

I really am at the point where I can say I AM SO HAPPY I DID THIS. I am still not 100% comfortable with the way I look, but I am getting closer and closer to that point every day. I am no longer as surprised when I look at myself in the mirror. I recognize my face to a much greater degree than I did before. It's not to the point where I don't give myself a second glance, but I do not spend ages staring in the mirror trying to find myself like I did before.

I feel so free to have put so much of this past me. I feel like the issues with my jaw were holding me back from so much. I didn't realize to what degree until after the surgery. I really do feel much more confident and I am not CONSTANTLY worrying about what people think of the way I look. I seriously was always so conscious of my profile and my teeth (especially before braces, they were a MESS!) and now that I know how great my profile looks and how perfect my bite feels, I don't worry at all.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and it's just another change to go through this summer. I mourn the loss of the relationship, but I am feeling like I have such freedom, in every aspect of my life, and I cannot wait to see where I end up. I know it sounds silly, but I really feel like now I can do anything I want to do. For weeks I didn't want to see any of my friends, and I have gotten to the point where I can't WAIT to get back to campus and be surrounded by all of them. I have one semester left of my undergrad and I am sure this is going to be the best semester yet.

It's been quite the rollercoaster, but every up and every down has really made me a stronger person, and I am so thankful to be at the point I am at right now.

This picture was taken on my 21st birthday, OBVIOUSLY without me knowing. I see pictures like this and am SO thankful every day to have gotten the surgery. It really tore down my self esteem to know this is the way I looked to other people. I know it's not all about looks, but really, it's hard to feel good about yourself without thinking you LOOK good. and uh, this picture is not good. haha

I am getting over taking daily pictures, so I am probably going to be posting less often now.

One of my absolute favorite things during my research of this surgery was seeing before and after pictures. I think it is so so insane to look at my pictures side by side. I also want to throw out a little disclaimer on my before picture. I look like a shit head. I had zero makeup on that picture and probably hadn't seen the light of day in weeks, as it was final exam time.I absolutely did not smile like that or hold my mouth open like that everrr. I was very conscious of the way I looked when I was around other people, especially when cameras were involved. So, the before picture shows the extremes. Most people around me never saw me looking that way. Once I get back to campus and back to taking normal, every day pictures, I will do a post with casual pics of me before, and casual pics of me after. I learned to position my face correctly and hold my smile a certain way to hide the overjet and terrible profile.

Since I missed a few days in the Day 60 run of pictures, I thought I would make a few more posts.

I am starting to get sick of these elastics. I don't actually mind wearing them, but now that I am seeing friends more often and actually socializing, they get old. It is a bit awkward to go to the bar with elastics in, so the other night I left them out. For 7 hours. I realize this isn't great, but I am not going to be self conscious ALL night because of the bands that make me look like I have fangs.\

I thought this was a fun little survey and may help you get to know me a little more! You have to answer every question in one word. I cheated a little :)

1. Where is your cell phone? Couch
2. Your hair? Blonde
3. Your mother? Incredible
4. Your father? Frustrating
5. Your favorite food? Pasta
6. Your dream last night? None
7. Your favorite drink? Coffee
8. Your dream/goal? Family
9. What room are you in? Living
10. Your hobby? Fitness
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something you aren’t? Stress-free
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. Wish list item? Tattoo
17. Where did you grow up? Minnesota
18. Last thing you did? Eat
19. What are you wearing? PJs
20. Your TV? Pricey
21. Your pets? Lovely
22. Your friends? Wonderful
23. Your life? Insane
24. Your mood? Overwhelmed
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Vehicle? Saturn
27. Something you’re not wearing? Socks
28. Your favorite store? Urban Outfitters
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Today
32. Your best friend? Chrissy
33. One place that I go over and over? Alpha Chi
34. One person who emails me regularly? Momma
35. Favorite place to eat? Olive Garden

Day 60 was yesterday, but after getting an hour of sleep the night before last (and maybe a few too many long islands), I was seriously exhausted ALL day and had no desire to post. I did take pictures though!

I have seen quite a few friends recently and everyone has had positive things to say. I have seen old friends out at the bar who have recognized me immediately, and haven't mentioned me looking different, so that makes me feel pretty good. I never wanted to be not immediately recognizable. Friends I do talk to usually say, mid convo, 'yeah, you do look different!' hahaha, I think it takes people a while to figure out what seems off to them.

The right side of the roof of my mouth is numb, and my upper gums are completely numb as well. Dr. M things that feeling will come back, but I am kind of doubting it in the upper gums. I haven't felt any changes at all, they are still totally lacking feeling. It's kind of annoying, but it's much better than my face being numb!!

Update on numbness: Not a ton has changed, but there is definitely more feeling in my chin than there was before. It's definitely not 100% feeling back, but it's getting better and better. My lips still have a little bit of numbness. This is something I don't feel has improved much in the last 2-3 weeks, but I am sure it has and will continue to gain more and more feeling back. I don't notice numbness at all in either my chin or lips when I am going about my normal life. Putting on chapstick and touching my lips reminds me that they still have little tingles. I am not sure what the deal with my chin is, when I pucker my lips the indentations in my chin aren't normal yet, so I am assuming that means the soft tissue hasn't fully settled or there is still some level of swelling there?

I forgot to mention that Monday was 8 weeks post-op! Wow. I still cannot believe it's been two months. Time really has flown by.

I am definitely not one of those people who can say 'I barely think about surgery anymore!' Every time I eat, brush my teeth, put on chapstick, or anything like that, of COURSE I think about it. I think it will take months before things become so comfortable that I don't notice it any more. There is definitely some effort put into eating. It's not difficult by any means, but I still have to think more when I eat compared to before, when chewing was totally natural. I am surprised to think back to blogs I have read where 3 months post-op, some people were saying they were forgetting about surgery. I am not sure I am going to be one of those people. It certainly doesn't take over my mind the way it used to, but it is still definitely present in my mind every day.